If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just google imaged poop.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
