This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Boobs speak an international language.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
