how hairy? two words: wookie tits
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
