Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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