Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
