my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
