Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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