Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
