Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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