just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
