God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dignity is for republicans.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
