Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
