so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
