Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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