And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The uberlube is also flammable
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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