dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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