I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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