Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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