R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
