He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
