Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
