I cannot find my penis.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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