i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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