On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
