Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
