whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
