I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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