weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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