i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Two words: nipple clamps
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