she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
