Operation Purity has been aborted
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
