i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
