Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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