i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
