Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
