GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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