I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
