I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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