i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
