Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
