Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize