i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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