some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize