You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
