Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
pray to the hookup gods
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
