Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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