ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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