At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
