Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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