i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't think brook has ever known best
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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