But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
