So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
