things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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