school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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