This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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