hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize