found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
