What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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