yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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