fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
