It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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