I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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