I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
