ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
