is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
