Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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