I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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