I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
