At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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