I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she peed on how many people?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
