Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
