I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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