But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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